Scoopy, Dec. 11, 2014 | East Villager & Lower East Sider

Scoopy, Dec. 11, 2014

A little taste (ugh!) of the annual Roskoff Holiday Party invite.

A little taste (ugh!) of the annual Roskoff Holiday Party invite.

Cleopatra panic: Well, Allen Roskoff has done it again — but, really, what did we expect? The president of the Jim Owles Liberal Democratic Club — working with a clearly talented yet mysterious, unknown designer — has created the invite for his annual Roskoff Holiday Party, and as usual, it takes a pop at various local political figures and whoever and whatever happens to be in the news. Due to the uproar in years past (angry letters and phone calls) when we’ve shown the actual invite in Scoopy’s Notebook, this year we’re refraining from displaying it in its entirety. We’ll just show a cropped portion here. So, just use your imagination (and try not to lose your lunch…) as we describe it in full. …. Picture a Mad magazine-style spoof. The theme is a movie poster for “Cleopatra.” Guess who is reclining as her majesty, the queen? Yes, Roskoff, who naturally receives top billing. The other “stars” of this production are Police Commissioner Bill Bratton and Assemblymember Deborah Glick, who are shown in Roman armor flanking Roskoff. The “film” is “funded by Chris Hughes — but not by Sean Eldridge,” referring to the Facebook co-founder and his politically ambitious husband. The film’s “producers” are listed as state Senator Dan Squadron, losing Brooklyn Assembly candidate Pete Sikora and — in a surprise appearance this year — Mary Cooley, Squadron’s former district office director. Huh? Cooley? What did she do to anger Queen Cleo-Raskoff? we queried. She was one of the nicest of the politicians’ community liaisons, we always thought. (Cooley recently moved on to the Department of Consumer Affairs, where she’s director of city legislative affairs.) “Mary apparently took Jim Owles pro-nightlife lit off a table and threw it in the garbage because it criticized Squadron,” a source told us. (Roskoff is also a nightlife advocate.) We could not confirm that before deadline. As for Sikora, he snubbed the Owles club’s request to come in for an endorsement interview. O.K., so getting back to the invite…. Councilmember Corey Johnson is shown as a cute little mouse. (Whatever. That one was apparently the mysterious designer’s idea.) Meanwhile, former City Council candidate Yetta Kurland — what would a Roskoff invite be without Yetta Kurland? — is shown as a green asp that kills Roskoff. (Again, whatever… .) Other “cast members” of this production include Brian Ellner in the role of “Gay Marriage Profiteer,” Councilmember Vincent Gentile as “Horse-hating Closet Case” — ouch! — Gary Parker as “Who?” and Julie Menin, D.C.A. commissioner, as…well, we are not even going to print it here because it’s too insulting, and not accurate, either! The invite-only party is at the home of Bill and Marie Samuels. Among those expected to attend are the few individuals who were not skewered in the invite.